News/Events

Center For Family Ministry Helps Others to Heal and Grow in Faith

The mission of the Diocesan Center for Family Ministry Office is to make “family” a more important part of “church.” With that in mind, the office offers a variety of programs to help assist families. The office offers help, which include the following: training parish staff and volunteers to prepare couples for their marriages; offering Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend programs and Natural Family Planning classes; working to enrich marriages though parish programs, anniversary events; supporting groups, such as Marriage Encounter and the Retrovaille program, for troubled marriages; assisting in baptism preparation; helping “hurting and healing” families, which means helping those who are divorced, through support groups, conferences, annulment support ministry, and programs for the children of divorcing parents; and helping those grieving through a bereavement ministry, whether through training parish personnel, offering group facilitator training, sponsoring the Joyful Again! weekend for widows or ofering the Tree of Light Mass each year for those who have lost a baby either before or after birth. All of these kinds of programs are supported by the Catholic Ministries Annual Appeal. To highlight the importance of how the Center for Family Ministry helps people and families, Christ is our Hope interviewed several people who have participated in the center’s “hurting and healing” programs. Here are their stories.

Jim and Kim Orchard:
The Orchards were on the path to divorce when they decided to attend a Retrouvaille weekend. According to the Center for Family Ministry’s website “Retrouvaille is a national organization that offers a weekend program for troubled marriages. The Retrouvaille weekend provides a Catholic spiritual context for working carefully on one’s marriage.

Through presentations, private reflection, and dialogue, couples whose marriages are seriously troubled and who also may be contemplating divorce are invited to reflect on their marriage and on what they can do to save them.”

During their weekend, in February 2003, the Orchards received the help they needed to start the healing process in their marriage, said Jim Orchard.

In turn, they wanted to become involved in the ministry to help others.

Today they are part of the leadership team of Retrouvaille and serve as presenters on the weekends. “The bottom line of it is the healing the ministry brings being with other couples that are going through similar circumstances, which is why we have continued to be more involved in the ministry,” he said.

Orchard said he believes the divorce rate is lower because of the program — and it helps people re-connect with their church. “One of the interesting parts for Kim and I and many of the couples who come  through the ministry is they share a common element that is lacking in their marriage, in addition to the other problems. This is their connection to the Church,” Orchard  said. “They’ve fallen away from it over the years. When they bring the ministry of the Church and God back into their marriage, those are all elements that help to heal the marriage. It was very true for Kim and me. We were both raised Catholic. Kim went to Catholic schools, but over the years, we became the holiday church-goers, for the most part. That allows a lot of evil to get into your marriage when you’re not walking along with your Church.”

Nancy Haines:
Nancy Haines’ marriage was troubled, and she and her husband attended a Retrouvaille weekend, but it did not work out for them.

“After I was divorced, I went to the retreat day to learn about the annulment process,” she said.

The Center for Family Ministry oers a program to help people understand the annulment process. It’s presented by the priest in charge of the Diocesan Tribunal, Father Joseph Tapella, who is a canon lawyer, and Desiree Marciani, the center’s associate director. “Having Father Tapella go through the whole process took away a lot of the
fear about it,” she said. “It was very enlightening and helpful to me in my spiritual journey to realize it’s almost like a healing process. The church acknowledges that a marriage is not the right thing and through the annulment process we are forgiven.”

She learned about the divorced and widowed conference that the diocese puts on, and she has attended several over the years.

“As I go back and look at the years, each of the speakers who were brought in, it was God’s perfect timing,” Haines said. “The speakers touched something in me that needed healing at that particular time.”

She said the programs she has attended sponsored by the center have been very aordable.

Ultimately, Haines said the value of the Story and photography by Carlos Briceño Center for Family Ministry springs from the fact that it oers help from a spiritual viewpoint, something programs in the secular world don’t oer.

“It’s specific to our faith life,” she said. “It’s a union of the emotional and the spiritual. It affects the total person. The family life ministry, I feel, looks at the emotional and spiritual being and ministers to both parts of us.”

Marie Hejnal:
Hejnal was divorced in 1989 and received her annulment in 2006. During the years in between, she remarried. At the urging of her pastor, Hejnal attended the annulment workshop at the Center for Family Ministry in Romeoville and realized she wanted to get married in the Catholic Church.

“It was in my heart,” she said. “I wanted to go back to my Catholic roots – still a very real part of me. My mom and dad hoped I would pursue an annulment as well. Usually people have misinformation about what happens if you’re divorced: ‘You can’t take Communion;’ ‘annulments cost too much money;’ that sort of thing. There are simply too many misconceptions and misunderstandings; we need to bring better awareness to the parishes and parishioners regarding divorce and annulments.”

After her divorce and after she remarried, she said she usually sat in the back at church, feeling alone and ostracized.

“I wanted to help others, who had similar feelings, learn to cope,” she said, explaining why she decided to go into family ministry work herself one day. Presently, she is one of several facilitators who offer divorce support groups at their individual parishes. The facilitators are trained at the Center for Family Ministry by Desirée Marciani, the center’s associate director. Hejnal said that the help and encouragement she received from Marciani and the center inspired and helped her so much that she’s attending Dominican University in River Forest, studying for her master’s degree in leadership and family ministry.

In 2006, a few months after she received her annulment, Hejnal and her husband, Rick, had their marriage blessed at their parish in what is known as a convalidation of a marriage. The pastor of Holy Trinity at the time invited her and her husband to hold the convalidation during the 11:30 a.m. Sunday Mass. During the service, he invited any couple who wished to renew their marriage to come forward for the blessing. She said it was so moving that she still has individuals approach her today thanking her for sharing such an important ceremony.

“Our God is an awesome God!” she said. “He takes those who are sadly broken and discouraged, helps them back on their feet, filling their heart with a desire to help others in turn.”

Ray Wyzguski:
After Wyzguski’s 32-year marriage ended in divorce in April 2006, he said that he went looking for support from the Church. Two of the people who helped him, he said, were Jim Healy, the director of the diocesan Center for Family Ministry, and Desirée Marciani, the associate director. In fact, she encouraged him to attend the yearly diocesan Conference for Divorced and Widowed at the St. Charles Pastoral Center.

His parish, St. Elizabeth Seton in Naperville, did not have a program for the divorced. But he participated in the Divorce and Beyond program at St. Mary of Gostyn Parish in Downers Grove, and then – with the permission and encouragement of the then pastor of St. Elizabeth Seton, Father Tom Paul – he began the Divorce and Beyond healing and recovery program there.

“My healing was partially facilitated – I also had other Catholic resources – through the help and support I received from Desiree [Marciani] and Jim [Healy],” Wyzguski said. “I have also participated in every yearly diocesan divorced and widowed conference since 2007. The Divorce and Beyond healing and recovery program has been a tremendous help to me, both as a participant and a facilitator. I also have participated in two diocesan annulment seminars, which have really helped me to understand the annulment process. I have been a St. Elizabeth Seton parishioner since the founding of the parish, and it has been like a second family. My divorce healing process has to have a Catholic perspective, and that is certainly what the Center for Family Ministry has helped to provide to me.”

Christina Macias:
Christina Macias’ daughter was 22 months old when she died in 2003. In November of that year, she attended the Tree of Life Infant Memorial Mass, which is usually sponsored by the diocese in the fall as a way to memorialize those children who died through miscarriage, stillbirth, other pregnancy losses and infant or early childhood death.

“When I heard the Mass, it was a little painful,” said Macias. “I love the Mass, the way they did it, the way they talk. Trying to comfort people. It helps us to know there are more people who suffer the same pain.”

She has been back to the Mass every year since then, except for in 2004, she said.

The Mass, she added, “helps me to remember” her late daughter, Jessica.

Growing In Faith-One Man's Journey to Becoming Catholic

This year, the Diocese of Joliet’s Cardinal Newman Institute is launching a new series of minicourses entitled “Foundations of the Faith.” This initiative is designed to help baptized Catholics reflect on the universal call to holiness and to evangelize, as well as to rediscover, basic teachings of the Church. The two hour minicourse sessions are built on an adult learning model, so participants have a chance to interact with one another and to relate the course material to their own lives. The courses also offer additional resources and encourage followup reflection from the participants. In the fall of last year, teachers and catechists from around the diocese participated in the first of the classes, which dealt with new evangelization. Bill Maurer, a physical education teacher from St. Isaac Jogues School in Hinsdale, attended the class, and he, like most of the others, wrote a personal testimony about his faith journey. Christ is our Hope is offering a revised version of the testimony on these pages to inspire others and to show the value of these kinds of courses to those who are growing in their faith. Thanks to support from the Catholic Ministries Annual Appeal (CMAA), parishes are able to host these “Foundations of the Faith” sessions for their parishioners and catechists. And, thanks to support from the CMAA, we are all able to share in the faith journeys of people like Bill …

I was born and raised in central Illinois. My father was Catholic, and my mother attended and was employed by a Baptist church in town. I spent a lot of time there. I got to know the pastor and his family. I found comfort in the church as it was my mother’s workplace. I can still remember exploring the old church’s nooks and crannies.

I had a lot of faith in God and Jesus Christ when I was growing up, as it was innate to me. That changed a bit when I went to college, and my grandmother passed away from cancer. She was fairly young and only retired for a short time. I think I started to question why I believe and what I believe. As a response, I went without church. I went without God. As I no longer attended church, I went without prayer for years.

I met my wife during my college years. Her family is Catholic, and they were from a neighboring community. I took notice of her family’s commitment to their church, St. Patrick’s Parish, in Hennepin. It felt good to join them in church. Their church seemed to be an extension of their family. I am not sure I realized it then, but this would lead me to the Catholic Church in the years to come. Could this have been a sign from God?

My wife and I were married at St. Patrick’s Church more than 20 years ago. While my wife attended Mass consistently, I rarely chose church over a Sunday football game or a Saturday night dinner. That was until our family expanded with children. Was God again speaking to me? Was he telling me to start living a life that my children could emulate? My wife and I joined the nearest Catholic Church. We lived around the block from St. Mary of Gostyn in Downers Grove.

We started to attend Mass together, and while I was not Catholic, I enjoyed my time in church. The parish was warm, and when it came time to decide upon a Catholic or public school education for our children, we again received the sign we needed. I called the public school and met with the principal. The public schools were well-respected, and we liked the idea of a neighborhood school. One day after work, I stopped by the two Catholic schools in town, wondering if maybe that was an option for our children. My first stop invited me to an open house in the upcoming weeks. The second stop was St. Mary of Gostyn. I was greeted with open arms, and the principalFred LeChance, asked me into his office. He spoke of educating the entire child and how the values of the Catholic school would align with our family’s values and expectations. I left there that day, vowing that my kids would attend St. Mary of Gostyn School, where God was part of each and every day.

This marked a time in my life that presented many opportunities to get closer to God. While I attended Mass more consistently, I just seemed to be missing something. I wondered about the Eucharist. Is that what was missing? In 2009, I investigated the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) program, yet chose not to enroll due to conflicts with the Sunday sessions.

At the time, I worked for a large pharmaceutical company as a sales manager, but always wanted to teach. I felt that I was born to teach, but I was trying to pay the bills. I wanted to change careers when the time was right. In the meantime, I attended evening courses, working toward a teaching certificate.

In August 2009, I left the pharmaceutical company excited to start my teaching career. I finished my degree, received my teaching certificate and started a job at an elementary school in my community as a teacher’s aide. I was confident a teaching position would open for the following year. Yet in May 2011, they told me they had no teaching positions for me. I had no job. I remained positive in public, but was crushed privately. How could I have walked away from a lucrative career to teach children and then end up unemployed? In quiet moments, I feared my poor decisions may severely impact my relationship with my wife and family. I continued to chase jobs in the private and public sectors until I was introduced to the administration at St. Isaac Jogues Catholic School. Was this another sign? I believe so and am currently at St. Isaac Jogues School in Hinsdale, teaching physical education, where I’ve been working since the fall of 2011. It’s a great place with wonderful families and staff. Is work here at the school another sign it was time for me to become Catholic? I believe it was and enrolled in the RCIA program in September.

My mother gave me faith, my wife led me back to the Church, my children led me to the Catholic Church and my career change has led me to working for the Diocese of Joliet and finally enrolling into the RCIA program. Upon reflection, it is clear all these things are signs from God that illustrate what He has planned for me. I now believe God places things at our feet. As people of faith, we need to decide where to go. I think it’s all been a greater power at work.

A Week In The Life of a Seminarian

David Mowry, 24, is a seminarian in his third year of theology at Mundelein Seminary, near Chicago. He entered the seminary after graduating from Glenbard West High School. He first felt the call to the priesthood when he was encouraged by a priest at St. Petronille Parish in Glen Ellyn, his home parish, in the sixth grade. But he said he did not seriously contemplate the priesthood until his junior year of high school, after attending a Jeremiah Day vocation event. He hopes to be ordained in June 2013. Christ is our Hope recently asked Mowry to keep a diary over a recent week. What follows are his entries from Oct. 30 — Nov. 5, 2011.

Sunday – Oct. 30
Life at a seminary revolves around prayer and classes. So when my alarm went o at 7:45 a.m., you would think I would leap out of bed in order to be ready for 8:30 prayer in Mundelein Seminary’s main chapel. Unfortunately, the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. In spite of my strong desire to hit the snooze button, I got up, showered, shaved and dressed in time to be in the chapel for Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, which on Sundays, we chant from the Mundelein Psalter. Mass followed at 9, with seminarians serving as lector, cantor and altar servers. After brunch in our refectory, I celebrated the day of rest by working for three hours on a paper due the next day. Having finished that, I was able to spend the day relaxing, watching some TV and playing a board game with my friends in the evening.  Before going to bed, I put the finishing touches on my paper and then read a few chapters from Don Quixote before saying Night Prayer at the close of the day.

Monday –Oct. 31

Halloween doesn’t happen at the seminary.  Well, maybe it does, but everyone dresses in the same costume: as priests.  The staff and the secretaries of the administration will put out small bowls of candy, but thats the extent of our observance.

The day begins as all weekdays do with Morning Prayer at 7:15a.m. and Mass at 7:40.  There’s a quick breakfast afterward, and then classes start at 9:15 and will continue for the rest of the day until 4pm, with an hour break for lunch.  I start off with “Eucharist and the Church” at 9:15, a course that looks into the relationship between the nature of the Church as the body of Christ and the Eucharist as the body of Christ. At 10:45, “Modern Church History” starts, which covers Church history from the French Revolution to the Second Vatican Council. After my lunch break, the whole afternoon consists of “Theological Reflection,” where I and a small group of my classmates meet with a priest to reflect on our experiences from our internship in parishes in our home dioceses this past spring. (I had the great blessing to live and work in Holy Family Parish in Shorewood with Father Bill Dewan.) Before dinner, all the men on my floor at the seminary (called a “cam” from the Italian camminata, meaning “walk”) get together for Evening Prayer with the priest who lives on the cam. After dinner, I spent the rest of the evening studying and staying on top of my reading for class.

Tuesday – Nov. 1
On All Saints’ Day, I was one of the altar servers at Mass. To mark the solemnity, we used our large processional cross decorated in gold and small precious stones, much to my arms’ dismay since I had to carry it! My classes began once again at 9:15 a.m. with “Special Moral III,” which examines the Church’s teaching on medical ethics, marriage and human sexuality. At 10:45, I had “Wisdom and Creation,” a Scripture course that looks at the connections between the creation stories of Genesis and the wisdom literature of the Old Testament. After lunch, the academic parade continued with “Canon Law I,” appropriately named as it taught us about the structure and content of the Church’s law. That afternoon, I went to confession, which I try to do once every other week. After Evening Prayer with the seminary community at 5:15 and then dinner, our cam prayed the rosary together, as all the cams in the seminary rotate leading the rosary for the community during the weeks of the academic quarter. As men preparing for the priesthood, we are encouraged to develop a meaningful relationship with Mary, the Mother of God and the model of Christian discipleship. I spent the rest of the evening reading for class and beginning to put my notes together to study for finals, which begin next week.

Wednesday – Nov. 2
On All Souls’ Day, as we do every Wednesday, the seminary gathers at 7 a.m. for an hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, which is exposed in the monstrance. For part of the hour, we pray Morning Prayer and dedicate the rest of the time to silent meditation; on this day, especially, we pray for all the faithful departed, particularly any of our own family and friends who have died. The hour ends with Benediction, and then we go over for breakfast. I have a short time to myself before class formation at 10, when I and the rest of my third theology class are addressed by a priest on some topic that aids our preparation for ordination. Today, two experienced pastors from Chicago came to answer our questions about the challenges of being the pastor of a parish. Over lunch, the third theology class met with our coordinators of the upcoming pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Every year, the third theologians have the opportunity to spend 11 weeks in the Holy Land, and I could not be more excited about it. While the whole of my seminary education comes by way of the generosity of the people of the Diocese of Joliet, that I should have the chance to walk where Jesus walked is one of the greatest gifts of my seminary years. I am so grateful to all those benefactors who make all this possible.

Thursday – Nov. 3
I have the same classes on Thursdays as I do Mondays following Morning Prayer and Mass (the exception being “Theological Reflection,” which meets only once a week). After my morning classes, a priest from the diocese came up to the seminary and took the three of us Joliet seminarians out for lunch. I always enjoy these opportunities because it’s easy to feel removed from the diocese while up at seminary. When a priest comes to visit, not only do I feel closer to the diocese, but also I build relationships with the priests who (God willing) will be my brothers once I am ordained. In the evening, I helped set up one of the common rooms on campus for karaoke night on Friday. Many cams on campus will host an event for the entire seminary community in order to bring everyone together, and, in some cases, to raise funds for a particular charity. Our cam worked with another to host karaoke night on the Friday before finals week to raise money for seminarians in Jerusalem and to allow guys to have fun by letting o some steam by making fools of themselves singing along to pop songs.

Friday Nov. 4
Savvy readers already will have guessed that after Morning Prayer and Mass on Friday, I have the same classes as on Tuesdays. They would be right, so I’ll pass over them, only stopping to note I presented a paper in my “Wisdom and Creation” class on the connections between the Old Testament and the book of Revelation. The others in my class will present on a variety of topics, such as the image of God, original sin and creation from nothing. The only other event that day was karaoke night, which went from 7:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. and was a rousing success. As part of our fundraising, we asked three priests at the seminary to volunteer to be willing to sing that night and then asked the seminary to vote with their donations. Whichever priest had the most donations made in their name won and had to sing their song at karaoke night. The winning priest was a good sport about it and sang Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” The crowd went wild. Many of the seminarians got up to sing, and we had a wide range of styles represented, from Frank Sinatra to Garth Brooks to Metallica. A good time was had by all, and I enjoyed the show from the tech table, where I handled the sound board.

Saturday –Nov. 5
Rather untypically, I went back to my parents’ house Saturday morning. I made sure to go to the Mass at 6:30 a.m. ordered by the priest who taught my “Special Moral III” class in order to make it back to Glen Ellyn in time for my 9 a.m. dentist appointment. Prayer helps me resist sin, but it doesn’t do a lot for cavities! I had a few other errands to run before going home, where I found the house empty since my parents were getting back from vacation that night. Since I had to be in town for the dentist, I figured I’d stick around to greet my folks when they got home. I spent the day doing laundry and working on some of my take-home finals, which I had literally taken home. My downtime during that afternoon afforded me the opportunity to reflect on my week, and I worried that people woudn’t believe that so much happens in the typical week of a seminarian. Truthfully, I have only shared parts of my week out of concern for space. But I wouldn’t trade any of my time in seminary, be it a week or a year, for anything. I eagerly look forward to the goal of all my formation: a life of priesthood in service to the Church in the Diocese of Joliet.

Working Together to Help Others in The Diocese

“The kingdom of God is at hand” – our theme for the 2012 Catholic Ministries Annual Appeal–reminds us that, as baptized Catholics in the kingdom of God, we’re richly blessed here and now.  For me, one of the richest blessings at hand in God’s kingdom is music.  In addition to serving the Diocese of Joliet as the chief development officer, I also direct music ministry at the Church of St. Jude in Joliet. Music is emotional, and music also is oftentimes communal. We come together around music; and human beings have done so since Old Testament times. The psalmist urges us to “make a joyful sound unto the Lord,” and since the earliest Christians, music has been an important part of our worship.

My roles as a chief development officer and parish music director echo one another in that I am charged with bringing people together harmoniously. One of the Diocese of Joliet’s most ambitious orchestrations is our Catholic Ministries Annual Appeal. Our CMAA draws Catholics together in a concerted eort with beautiful, harmonious, spirit-lifting results. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of attending a performance of a symphony, you’ve probably heard the orchestra warming up.

When the musicians begin tuning their instruments, the sound is more cacophony than music. But when the players come together, each instrumentalist performing his or her own part, they create sublime, moving music
together. The individuals together accomplish much more than they could if playing solos. The power of unity is one of the principles behind our annual appeal. But, just as the orchestra must have a conductor, we must have direction as
we launch our 2012 Catholic Ministries Annual Appeal. This year, under the leadership of our new bishop, the Most Reverend R. Daniel Conlon, we’re taking a new approach to our annual appeal. More than ever, we’re focused on the fact
that our diocese depends upon this important appeal – and we need more and more Catholics to participate.

Consequently, we’re introducing more transparency and more communication through a host of publications, both print and electronic. I’m convinced that once more Catholics understand what our annual appeal accomplishes,
more Catholics will eagerly participate in the spiritual good works and temporal good will extended to people in the seven counties of the Diocese of Joliet.

As all musicians know, a polished piece of music results only after practice. With the new direction of our CMAA, the diocesan Development Oce has been practicing a new song. We are stretching our personal ranges, and we’re asking that you do the same.  We all know the concept of “preaching to the choir,” and since you’re reading this, you’re likely already in the group of people supporting our annual appeal. If you do pledge to the CMAA, I thank you for your gifts; and if you know Catholics who have not yet made a joyful sound unto the Lord through a gift to the CMAA, please encourage them to join us by contributing this year.

In music, every note counts, and in our CMAA, every gift counts.  Thank you for making a joyful sound unto the Lord in the kingdom of God here in the Diocese of Joliet. Through your gift to our annual
appeal, you make your voice heard!